Inner peace…. Inner…. Inner peace…..

I was recently watching Kung Fu Panda 2, again. And I recall here, the one scene where Master Shefu is trying to attain inner peace. In the movie, they show that to attain greatness and satisfaction from one’s life, you need to attain inner peace. Seeing it, you think, oh come on, I am at peace with myself. But when you really look carefully, you will question, are you truly at peace with yourself?

Life is a collection of moments, good and bad - involving relationships, friendships, acquaintances - and how you are able to cope with them. Many instances are witnessed, when the human brain conks off because of expectations from these interactions. Expectations are good but sometimes, they can be the deadliest killers.  What do you do? It is all but natural to expect. It is human nature. And let me tell you, we all are the same. Nobody can live without expecting. What is necessary is to understand what to expect and what not.

Each and every person you know is like you, going through good or bad times at a given point. So, expecting them to be there with you every single time when you need them, to celebrate your happy times or share your sorrow, is asking too much from anyone. Don't you sometimes feel not to be a part of someone else's good/bad times, just because you are not up for it? The same applies on the flip side of the coin as well. It is better not to expect, as then you will not be left in the lurch, or left disappointed.

It is difficult to master this. What you need to know is if there is someone from whom you can expect anything, it is YOU.  For this, you need to understand yourself totally. Give yourself time. It is good to mingle with friends/acquaintances, but more important to give time for yourself, away from everyone. It is imperative to introspect. You need to make your best friend (your inner self) understand you totally. 

Believe me, once you do this, then you will not need anyone at any point of time. Yes, of course, if you have someone with whom you can share your feelings, it is very good. But even otherwise, you always have your best buddy with you, who will be there at every second of your life. That person will come with you, wherever you go, be it work, play, lunches, dinners, movies or just a nice relaxing walk. You are then, never alone. Sometimes even shadows fail to follow you, but he will always be there. You always have a constant company, and since you are in constant contact with your best friend, you attain inner peace. It becomes so relaxing..

It took me time to get to this situation. I was always trying to make sure that I keep the people around me in good spirits. I felt it gave me happiness. But slowly, I started to realize, am I really happy? Is my inner self happy? I realized I had almost neglected my best buddy in the quest of keeping others happy. It did not go well with me. I worked on it and made sure I regained myself. Of course, my two other close companions were there, supporting me, my iPod and my Camera. What started off as an occasional thing, turned more into a routine, and believe you me, I no longer yearn for any company. As I said, if I have company, well and good, but if I do not, for whatever reason, well and goodJ. Now, it gives me happiness that I am able to get through days without much ado. I am at ease, being with myself, able to do what I want to do, how I want to do, where and when I want to do. And I know that come what may, I have my best buddy with me as well as my close companions. What more can you ask for!

Life definitely is beautiful.

I have Inner Peace… Inner… Inner peace….

My True Companion...

It has been sometime since I wrote something.. It is not because I did not have the time, it is probably because I was in need of a good thought.

The last few days, I have been thinking... Has it always been that whenever you wanted to share something with a particular person, you have been able to? Has it ever occurred to you that sometimes there are things you want to share with that one person and at that opportune moment, he or she is not there for you?

What do you do in such situations? It is difficult to control your emotions for long periods of time. The body does not recommend it. It feels strained. You need to get your emotions out of your system before it crashes. And don't get me wrong here. I am not talking about the sadness in you. Even too much of happiness is not too good. It needs to be balanced as quickly as possible.

How do you do it? Well, the learned and the experienced say that this is the time you need a companion, who is there to share your feelings, your joy, your sorrow, with you. A companion, in the true sense. It need not be someone of the opposite sex. It can be your parent, your sister, your brother, your best friend, it can be anybody who is willing to listen to you, just listen to what you have to say, to make you feel better, ease your mind of the adrenaline that has been pumping in. But what if THAT person is not in the mindset to listen to you, just because he or she is having their own set of emotions going through their mind? What happens then? You cannot force yourself on them, can you?

I am sure most of us have gone through this phase sometime or the other in our lives. I wonder what people do to get over it. Different people have different ways to handle this situation. Truly lucky ones will find their true companion in a person with whom they can share anything anytime. 

I, for one, have a unique 'person' whom I call my true companion. She is a wonderful creation of God. I wonder what was going through His mind, when He created her. She is one person who has all her emotions in the balance at all times. And I do not have to tell her anything. She can read my mind and understand what I are going through and accordingly she reacts, making me feel so much better, within minutes. She shares all my happiness, making me sing and dance with gay abandon. She makes sure that my sorrow is short-lived by enlivening me with her beautiful and melodious notations. She is there always for me, whenever I want, wherever I want. There is never a moment where I feel I can do without her. She never leaves me, even if I want to get rid of her, I cannot. 

MUSIC!!! The most wonderful creation and according to me, my true companion. For me, music is a part of my soul and so, reflects a person who understands me like no one else. Music is someone I cannot live without. She gives me solace, relaxes my mind and sometimes even energizes me. The feeling within, which music brings in me, is enthralling. Irrespective of what I hear, I am in a trance. I do not feel as if I am alone. I never feel, as they say, 'bored'. There is never a dull moment with her playing around in the background. My work happens with an effortless ease. Aren't these the qualities you look for, in your true companion? 

I am not a poet who can give a poetic touch to my thoughts, but I quote John A. Logan "Music is the medicine of the mind". Feel it, enjoy it, admire it, live with it as if it is your true companion.

Living your dream!! Been there, done that...

When I was a kid, I had always wondered about one of the largest parks in Bangalore. I was thrilled to know that people live in such a serene atmosphere, with large spaces to play around. I was envious of all the people who were residing in this beautiful "resort", in the heart of Bangalore.

As I grew up and entered college, I realized that the park I was referring to was none other than the premier research institute of the country, Indian Institute of Science. I was told that the best brains of the country were working here and that most of the country's top notch research happens in this "park". I grew up with one dream in mind - to get into the top research institute of the country - to get a Ph.D from the Indian Institute of Science. Well, like all other boys from India, I also dreamt that I will play for the Indian cricket team one day. At that point, these were two unrealistic dreams. I had no choice. I had to achieve one of them. I simply had to. When the choice was made, it was a simple and a straightforward one.

Thus began the journey to get into "The Institute" of the country. The path, as it is for all those who get into this lovely campus, was not easy. There were a lot of negative vibes and criticism. But there was always the love and support of all the near and dear ones too, which pushed me on.

The first few steps I took on the roads of this wonderful arena of scientific brilliance gave me my goose bumps. Here I was, one who had envied these people as a kid, now becoming a part of their family!! Life at the Institute is way different from that on the other side of its gates. Here, at times, time ceases to exist!!! The chaos of the outside world is somewhat lost inside the "campus". Yes, we do go out to have our share of 'freaking out', but mainly we are in our coccoons. The Institute teaches you and moulds you into a person who can strive to achieve, whatever you wish to, in life.

I landed here, at the institute, in 2007, to pursue my dream. Here I was, a naive, inexperienced lad, just out of college right into the thick of things. I had no experience or knowledge of research. Very soon I realized that what we did in college were hardly in the category of 'experiments'!! But this phase was shortlived. Soon, I began feeling that I was one among them. I was made to believe, by people around me, that I was capable. So started my exploits with the real experiments!

Working at the institute is like acting in a play!! You get to express all your feelings. You have your happiness and your sorrows. You have your tempers flaring up, and at times, you are so depressed that you want to be away from everything and everyone. But at no time does the life at the institute let you linger in such emotions. You are never in inertia here! There is constant variation, which is phenomenal.

The last few years have been the best years of my life. I have had such memorable experiences and they were possible because of all those nice, kind and wonderful souls that made sure we never had a dull moment. Although coming from different parts of the country, science and research united us. We shared our happiness and sorrow and the friendship was fantastic. I never realized how a time span of 5 and a half years went by. After 5 years of diligent work with a lot of help from scores of people, I have managed to live my dream - get a Ph.D from IISc - and the day I got it, it was a sense of finally achieving something substantial in life. It was a feeling indescribable. You need to experience it to understand.

Despite the happiness, there is a tinge of sorrow attached somewhere. The fact that in the near future, you will be parting ways with the place and the people who made you the person you are, is a difficult pill to swallow. But the separation is only physical. I am sure all those who have been a part of this institute would have, in the past, had similar emotions attached to this campus. For all of us, it is a real feeling of living our dream. As for me, its now time to start dreaming again, to set a bigger and better challenge, and try to achieve it. But one thing is for sure - when my kids look at the campus in awe - I can proudly tell them "been there, done that"!!!!!

Certainly, coming here, and experiencing what I did, I can say that I did live my dream to the fullest and it was a memorable dream and hardly a nightmare!! It now time to start dreaming again !!!!!

Emotions - The spice of your life ! ! ! !

If you look up for the meaning of the word Emotion in the dictionary, it will tell you that it is "any strong agitation of the feelings actuated by experiencing love, hate, fear, etc., and usually accompanied by certain physiological changes, as increased heartbeat or respiration, and often overt manifestation, as crying or shaking."

When you are a kid, there are mainly only two emotions that you express. One where you are smiling away to glory to show happiness, achievement, success, love, sheer innocence and what not. The other is where you are crying, or even wailing, whether it is due to grief, fear, or just because you got a "no" as an answer.

But as you grow older, you gain experience from various instances and incidences in life and you tend to be more expressive. The number of emotions you express are unimaginable. You have different levels of happiness, from just a mere smile to jumping away and shouting away to glory when you know that you have achieved something significant.

The simple fact is that if you are happy, you tend to mingle with people much more and you come across as a person full of energy. These vibes do percolate into others as well and the environ is much more enjoyable.

But most often than not, it is not the case. There will always be some niggles here and there and always there will be some negative energy flowing around you all the time. These not only make you disheartened but also bring out a series of emotions in you that you generally wish never existed in your system. You mainly express these when you are sad, or lets say, when life teaches you that truth is always bitter. It seldom is sweet. When you come across such incidences in your day-to day routine, you tend to be more subdued, silent, sometimes sarcastic, not wanting to involve yourself in any discussions, and mentally keep recalling these incidences that made you express all these feelings.

The most important thing here is to keep your cool and be composed. You should learn to get through these situations without much damage done. But that again is easier said than done. In most instances, when such incidences occur, you tend to hate the person who caused it and hatred generally turns to anger. And when this happens, it becomes dangerous. It becomes even more imperative that you control your emotions during such phases, especially if the person is your colleague or a beloved one, with whom you are bound to interact day in and day out.

The other emotions we express include one of sarcasm, sadism, fear, love, kindness, gratitude,  etc. And each one of us do express all these feelings at one point in our life or the other. We show different emotions depending on what we learn through life. The best thing is that when you need to convey THE message to your beloved, you tend to express a series of emotions. You are happy, yet scared, nervous, with a lot of adrenaline surging through your entire body and this is I feel is a sensation that all of us have to experience in our life. It is the best experience one can have in his life.

But the best I like, or you may call my "personal favorite" is the art of being silent. Silence is really golden. You do not need to be silent when you are happy, or when you want to share your achievements with someone. But silence comes in handy when you are angry at something or someone or when you are sad. Different people vent their anger differently. Some shout directly at a person, some go to an open area and shout. Some have the habit of drinking water to vent their anger. But I feel the best way to handle the situation is to be silent, listen to some good music, concentrate on your work and divert your mind to things other than that which resulted in your being angry. Sometimes, silence is really a boon. As one of my best friends wrote in her blog, titled "saying it silently...", you can express a lot of feelings just by mere silence. You can ruin a relationship or even mend it by silence.

You do not have to express your feelings all the time to convey the message. By not conversing also, a lot can be conveyed. Thats the power of silence. Sometimes, it will be your staple food, with the rest of the emotions adding spice to it.

All said and done, it is important to realise that each person is different from the other in terms of his/her expressions and emotions and it is important for each one of us to respect the feeling of the other person as this is extremely important in any relationship, whethere it is professional or personal. So, learn to respect the emotions of your loved ones as thats the only way you can really spice up your life !!!!

Courtesy is disregarded !!!!!

Ralph Waldo Emerson, an American poet once said "Life is not so short but that there is always time for courtesy."

When I was a kid, my parents had taught me to be friendly, courteous to most people, but at the same time, be affirmative and never be submissive, especially once you reach a higher position. My father keeps advising me the same even today saying that I am a research scholar and so, I need to be a bit affirmative at times but at the same time, not be proud of my achievements and not be arrogant. I should still be courteous to people, especially those that are elder to me.

These words of my parents has been helping me ever since I started interacting with people, whether in school, college or in the surroundings around me. Being polite, courteous and at the same time affirmative, I can say I have gained a lot of respect and friendship of a lot of people. Even to this day, if I go and visit my teachers in school or my lecturers in college, they talk to me in a very nicely and give me respect. Even when I go to get some stuff for my home from the nearby market, the shopkeepers speak to me nicely, wish me and give me respect, apart from the concession I get thanks to the way I interact with them.

I was able to imbibe this culture in myself because day in and day out, I used to see my parents practice what they preached. They were polite and courteous to most people but at the same time never were they submissive. When required, they were quite affirmative and used to get their opinion across with a strong voice. Also, they never had any negative attitude. They were never pessimistic. Their policy was : “All that happens is for the good”.

But nowadays, it is difficult to see many people following this culture. The present day culture, in majority, is one of people being rude, arrogant and with no sense of showing any courtesy. Take for example those who drive the public transport. Their behaviour is one of pure arrogance. They do not have the word polite in their dictionary. You ask them if they will take us to the destination of your wish, the response you get is either a rude nod of the head, saying “Oh Hell, who will come to drop you there!!!!” or they will ask you exhorbitant rates to take you there saying they have to come empty on the return. Effectively, you are paying for their return also!
Well, I had least expected the better educated people to exhibit such a behaviour. I thought atleast the learned folk will have some sense of courtesy and be more polite towards others. What I have experienced in the last few years is something complete opposite.

Nowadays, people expect YOU to be polite and courteous but YOU cannot expect the same from them. They can be as rude and impolite as possible. YOU are expected to show all the courtesy to them whenever possible. If not, they will raise an alarm saying you are being rude to them. But if YOU expect the same from them, then you are at fault as you are not supposed to be expecting.

There is another class of people, who have the feeling that if you are asking them something out of courtesy, then you are imposing things on them. They think you expect them to be with you always, just because you asked them out of pure courtesy !!! But if you fail to include them in your activities two to three times, they will complain that you are rude to them. So, I don’t know how to interact with them. If you do something, YOU are at fault and if you do not do, even then YOU only are a fault !! Ultimately, in their minds, whatever you do, you are a fault.

Then there is the third kind. These people are those who hardly practice what they preach. They advice people saying “you have to show courtesy towards others. When you are going for a cup of coffee or tea or say you are going out for lunch, then call others to find out if they want to join, out of courtesy”. But when they themselves are going out, then even if you are in their sight, then they just ignore you and carry on, as if you were a ghost or a spirit, who is not to be seen by them. I am not saying that we should go together always as a group. People can do whatever they want with whomever they want. But the fact is that when you are a part of a group, then when others of the group are doing something in your presence, then I feel at least out of courtesy, they should ask the rest of the group if they also would like to join. It is THIS COMMON SENSE that is lacking in the present generation.

These instances are increasing in our daily life day after day and it is sad to see that a sense of courtesy is diminishing by the day. It is sad to see how the younger generation is losing these values of life as I feel they are important in modelling anyone as a good person, a good human being. People make use of your friendship whenever they want and later, when not needed, you are completely forgotten. Your existence depends on their requirements. This attitude is on the rise in all walks of life and there is no trust between people. They just say that you are a good friend and one who can be trusted only from their mouths !! At the bottom of their heart, they will be thinking completely differently.

I sometimes feel that not being a part of any friends circle is a better way of living in the present scenario. I probably would not be writing this if I was living all by myself with no TRUSTWORTHY FRIENDS, some of whom, have really pierced me with a sharp knife at sometime or the other due to which I have lost all the respect I had towards them. There are so many cases where people whom I considered good friends have slapped me with curt comments, after which my interaction with them has changed for good.

Hence, my advice to all those who read this, if at all anyone does read this completely, is not to make any assumptions in haste. Interact with people for sometime before making any opinions about them. But even after that, be prepared to face the knife at any point in your life.
But remember one thing: Nothing is ever lost by courtesy. It is the cheapest of the pleasures costs nothing and conveys much. It pleases him who gives and him who receives, and thus, like mercy, it is twice blessed. And as Benjamin Franklin once famously said " To be humble to superiors is duty, to equals courtesy and to inferiors, nobleness" we need to be humble towards others and definitely not proud of what we are as there are always people much better than us, who will surely bring us back down to earth.

So, be polite and courteous towards others and try not to be curt to anyone as sometimes friendships are lost in a second due to some ugly comment you make, thinking it is funny, but not realising that the person receiving it might be hurt. !!

Regards,

Sudi